Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Selling The Best Therapy: Assertiveness Training II
The Magic of Assertivity
That is what those of a passive aggressive mindset believe assertivity to be. They take the street meaning of the word, getting your own way through some sort of magic of the voice or choice of words that will beat or trick the opponent into immediate agreement without resistance. Such witchery of the voice is their deepest, most aggressive desire.
And that is what it looks like to the amazed onlooker. There is no conflict. Voices are not raised. The other person agrees, even happily, and does what they are told enthusiastically!
And when passive aggressive people try it, it does not work. They may get the short term result that they wanted through trickery and manipulation but sooner or later, the recipient of such strategies works out that they have been had. And now it is time for the payback, backstabbing and revenge.
None of that happens with a truly asertive exchange. The recipient of the exchange stays happy with the speaker and the situation.
So what is this interpersonal magic?
The slight of hand is in fact an invisible slight of mind. It is simply pre-thought, thinking before you open your mouth of the fairest and best outcome for both parties based on knowledge of how the world works in order to predict outcomes.
What the observer dos not see is that the assertive person never asks for 'what they want'.
Well, that is how it starts. Once assertivity becomes a mental habit, it becomes second nature to discard the blind, subjective and often unrealistic personal interests of passive aggressivity and only want the fairest and best outcome for both parties.
And that is why only the doctor who is recommending the best treatment in terms of outcome can be assertive. Those selling second rate therapies are inevitably excluded. They are being passive aggressive and when the outcome occurs or the patient discovers that there was a better therapy, the resentment begins, regardless of whether it was sold on the basis of immediate emotional other-gratification.
Only the doctor communicating the best therapy can be assertive.
But there are ascending levels of assertivity and assertive communication....